The cost of a ticket does not include dignity

Think of any way the nation's airlines could be worse? Longer waits? Worse service? More shoe taking off? Perhaps you think they should just start assaulting people as soon as they enter the airport, to mentally prepare you for the flight? Maybe metal dog cages instead of seats? Shock collars?

Well they've heard your cries. Shock collars are here. To be clear, they've heard your cries for more stupidity, not the cries of you being shocked by a stewardess on an airplane. They won't care about those.

A senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device, similar to that of a police Taser®. This bracelet would:

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass

• Contain personal information about the traveler

• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage

• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

The Electronic ID Bracelet, as it’s referred to, would be worn by every traveler “until they disembark the flight at their destination.” Yes, you read that correctly. Every airline passenger would be tracked by a government-funded GPS, containing personal, private and confidential information, and would shock the customer worse than an electronic dog collar if the passenger got out of line.

Guilty until proven more guilty, upon which you will be shocked like an animal until you comply. And you'll get to pay for the privilege. I'm sure that you're comforted by the fact that taser technology will be entrusted to the people that are baffled by shoe wearing and drink containers.