Thursday, July 17, 2008

Cheap Blogging Crutch 7.17

Gore Calls for Carbon-Free Electric Power
Al Gore calls for us to abandon fossil fuels by 2018. I choose not to listen to Al Gore, he refuses to live in a tent and I have a sneaking suspicion that he used a gasoline powered vehicle to go somewhere once. He's not serious. Black dinosaur blood is still the future.

Obama Hits the Gym, With Multiple Repetitions
Barack Obama spent 188 minutes at gyms during three different trips to work out yesterday. You know this fact because you have an poor media focused on covering irrelevant trivialities. Enjoy the super-sweet next couple of months. Tune in tomorrow to see how many reps he does.

McCain's humor often backfires
Want to know why McCain likes to joke about ape rape, his wife being a trollop faced cunt, and constant killing of Iranians? Because he's an asshole with no concept of appropriate humor or an ability to tell a joke well. He just phrases insults in a halting manner. Read the article for more Shecky McCain classics, like Alzheimer's is hilarious, France surrenders, and Chelsea Clinton is ugly. Why doesn't he get called on this kind of crass behavior? Well, they don't call him Teflon John cause he fuckin' likes pots and pans.

S.C. Governor demands personnel and procedure changes in tourism fracas
One of the states that all the other ones are embarrassed by takes it's dick out at the prom again. Apparently South Carolina's Governor (and McCain VP short lister and short school busser) doesn't want your tourism dollars if you're gay. Of course he wouldn't. Once you introduce millions of gay dollars to the local economy they’ll go around converting regular South Carolina dollars into gay dollars. Then they’ll start recruiting the loose change. Slippery slopes people.

No comments: