The Balladeer: Orrin Hatch

Apparently in his spare time Pittsburgh boy, Mt. Lebo Blue Devil, and Utah Senator Orrin Hatch writes vaguely gay Styx tunes to Ted Kennedy while weeping. Apparently they're great friends and John Kerry is pushing to get it played at the convention to send a 'message of unity'. Some of the lyrics:

Sailing home, sailing home. America, America, we’re headed home at last
Just honor him, honor him, and every fear will be a thing of the past …
Through the darkness, we can find a pathway, that will take us halfway to the stars
Shoo the shadows and doubts away, and touch the legacy that is ours, yours and mine.

Then Hatch kicks in with a killer drum solo that would totally make him and Neil Peart best friends if he ever heard it. Perusing through his Wiki, it turns out Hatch evens gets songwriting advice from Bono. Bono's advice: "Stop handing me your demo, I just want to talk about Africa. Fine I'll take it. Yeah, sure, I'll play it for the Edge. Can we talk about AIDS now?"

Hatch hopes to book some studio time to really pack in the awesome so he can really blow some fuckin' minds at the DNC convention. He hopes this can springboard him into a career he really wants.