Why I hate the media: Dowd and Cohen

It's no secret that I hate the media in this country. If you took every political journalist, put them on a boat, took it out 12 miles, sunk it, then shot anyone who was able to swim back, I think you'd dramatically improve this country and the way the government gets covered. More than anything I hate the columnists that drive the media conventional wisdom. You know what I'm talking about, the wisdom that always ends up wrong but every pundit spouts about for weeks on end. This week gave me two good examples for why I hate.

Today via the Washington Post's columnist Richard Cohen. His premise? If you count everything good John McCain did and don't count anything good Barack Obama did, McCain looks better. Furthermore if you count the things McCain did to serve his conservative constituency as good and count the things Obama did to serve his liberal constituency as inherently bad, then McCain looks even better. Also Cohen is too busy to bother learning about Obama, so that is a positive for McCain as well.

From Sunday, the New York Times' Maureen Dowd comes another line in the same column she writes three out of every four weeks: Every Democrat is an effeminate gay-mosexual for some ill-defined reason. This week Obama is total queer-bait (again) because he went to France and interacted with straight men.

A column based around "If you don't count this and only count this, then a different event from reality happens" Rich? It's the kind of column lame, homer sports fans write after every failed season. "If only the Pirates won 30 more games, spent more than the bare minimum, and fielded a complete roster of major league caliber players, they totally would have won the World Series." Furthermore he seems to be unable to even to the most basic level of research into a candidate: clicking on the issues tab on someone's website. But then we might have been spared his brilliant wisdom.

As for Dowd, every week they should just spin a wheel with every Democrats name on it and a wheel with common every day actions on it, then just fill both into the sentence "____ is effeminate because they did ____." "Russ Feingold is effeminate because he ate a foot long hot dog." If a woman's name comes up we just switch the slur to "dykey." Then we can spend 3 seconds reading it, know why they're gay, and you can go edit the cattiest High School gossip column in the lower 48, just like you always wanted.

You make millions, have a weekly national audience in two of the biggest papers in the country and this is the shit you come up with. I understand that it's hard to come up with a new idea every week. But can you at least put some effort into it? For my sanity's sake? No? I'm gay and if you don't count everyone worse than me I'm history's greatest monster? Fine. Would you like to come to this party cruise I'm having? Bill Kristol, Tom Friedman, and David Broder will be there.