This is why Iowa doesn't get pro sports teams

Iowa was recently awarded an AHL franchise. They are to be the minor league affiliate of the Anaheim Ducks. For local reference, the Penguins AHL affiliate is the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins.

Their name: the Iowa Chops. Their logo: an angry pig shaped like a pork chop.


Even better is that they don't even own the name. They licensed it for three years from the Iowa Pork Producers Association. Bad self rationalization follows.

“We really feel this name perfectly represents our vision of the new team,” says team owner Kirby Schlegel, CEO of Schlegel Sports. “It illustrates Iowa’s agricultural heritage while also playing into the definition of ‘chops’, having nerve, resilience and staying power. The word ‘chops’ can mean continually defeating someone, and that is the reputation we expect Iowa’s new team to gain in the league.”

It seems they invented a definition for chop that means winning or having nerve. They should have just said "We like money, the pig men gave it to us, now you have to root for a cut of meat." They then pulled a stunt so bush league that PT Barnum would have blushed: they offered Brett Favre a contract.

This is why we don't let the Midwest participate in pro sports. Green Bay got grandfathered in based on its proximity to Milwaukee and the Pacers and Colts reside in a real city. That made us feel dirty so we've all since decided that you can't be allowed to degrade our precious precious diversions with your rube-ish leanings. You've tried to get around that by stealing the Sonics out of Seattle and moving them to Oklahoma City, but that won't last. You can't even treat an AHL franchise properly. Don't make us take away your indoor football team. We're this close.