Could Barry blow it?

In a desperate attempt to refrain from making tasteless Robert Novak brain tumor jokes -- we're going to wait a day because we're classy gents -- Matthew and I have been pondering something sour, depraved and practically unthinkable. And no, not interviewing with Monica Goodling for a job at the Justice Department. What we've been kicking around the office along with the baby seal head is much, much worse.

With fewer than 100 days until the election, polling well, his opponent now bearing a striking resemblance to this guy, and the de facto Presidency already assumed, what would Obama have to do to actually lose this thing? After all, miserable failure in the face of great odds is a proud Democratic Party tradition and, admit it, even the most optimistic amongst you have that tiny flicker of doubt in the backs of your minds.

Here's what we came up with. The These Bastards Division of Statisticianry posits that any combination of three or more would constitute a fatal blow to the historic Obama campaign. So please pass this along to any volunteers or staffers you know personally and maybe it'll make its way up to the big guy in time.

How Obama could lose this thing:
-Drop baby
-Be found with live boy and/or dead girl
-Drown Ted Kennedy at Chappaquiddick
-Enact policy of extinguishing cigarettes on staffers' forearms
-Reveal that campaign is really just a precursor for run at President of Europe
-Admit to slipping brain-mangling neurotoxins into John McCain's root marm
-Drop two babies
-Leak more details of that meeting with Mohamed Atta in Berlin a few years back
-Go duck hunting on November 3rd
-Windmill Dunk on retarded kid during pick-up basketball photo op
-Divine right of Democratic Presidential Candidate to deliver groin kicks at will
-Become irradiated, quadruple in size, destroy downtown Peoria