Leaders agree: obvious problem is a problem.

G-8 leaders are at an impasse over what to do about impish rouge and gadabout Robert Mugabe. They want to impose sanctions but can't decide between two medium spanks on the bottom with a warning not to do it again or to let Mugabe show up at the next international meeting and only be allowed to have one serving of the delicious pie or the delicious cake. Mugabe's wife Grace will also have to scale back her shopping to 'Let them eat cake' levels instead of the 'Let them eat shit' level she usually works at.

Ideally they want the African Union to do something about it, but the biggest obstacle has been South African President Thabo Mbeki. Mbeki has seemed content to just tussle Mugabe's hair, call him a devilish little scamp, and then go slam shooters with Bob on the yacht. Thabo's got bigger things to worry about than massive fraud and a humanitarian crisis, he's got WORLD CUP FEVER, which is known to induce corruption and increase tolerance for large scale murder.

In a further sign of tension between Britain and Mbeki, the foreign secretary, David Miliband, traveled to South Africa at the weekend to visit the camps that house up to 3 million Zimbabwean refugees. Mbeki has refused to go to the camps, saying the people are not refugees but fugitives.

Yes, fugitives. Fugitives from all the freedom. The freedom spread from freedom squads, that drive by and beat you with patriotism sticks and shoot you with unity bullets out of compassion guns, and then bury you in mass, shallow, liberty holes.

The US and UK are expected to announce an ineffective sanction into the UN soon which will be blocked because some country gets widget grease out of Zimbabwe and can't have that vital resource interrupted. I guess they're at least pretending to do something now, which is sadly a step forward.