Contingency

According to the Huffington Post, the Republicans have a plan for retaking back some of te seats voters have driven them out of with torches and pitchforks. Conducting themselves like adults? Changing their strategies to better reflect the beliefs of the American people. Showing up to govern sober? Voodoo?

Nope. Redistricting and gerrymandering. Redistricting could force a swing of almost 30 seats in the house, as districts so crooked and contorted that they'd give a yoga master a groin pull are fashioned out of pure contempt for the voter.

Brian Namey, spokesman for the Democratic Governors Association described Democratic governors as "a formidable line of defense against Republicans who would like to Tom Delay us out of congressional seats."

I don't think Namey knows what a 'Tom Delay' is. According to the New American Dictionary of Rank Perversion we keep on file here at TBHQ, a 'Tom Delay' involves a harness, a spotter, vegetable shortening, an electric juicer, and a pain tolerance rated at least a 7 out of 10 by a medical professional. Geting 'Delayed' is second only to a 'Fritz Haber', which is a dutch oven on steroids, on the NADRP's scale of Things Not To Do To Loved Ones. Not electing Republicans (sodomy through your pants) is #5 and not electing Democrats (a promise that things will be different, then sodomy through your pants) falls in at #9.