Monday, July 7, 2008

Oh the humanity: 2008

Why Fly When You Can Float?
If the increase in oil prices and emissions standards is going to bring us one thing, I'm glad it is the seeming return of blimp travel and crazy blimp related schemes. No longer relegated to the status of simply showing us what our sports stadiums look like from half a mile up, actual zeppelin travel might be back on the menu. Did I mention crazy schemes?
Mr. Massaud, a designer of hotels in California and a stadium in Mexico, has not ironed out the technical details, nor has he found financiers or corporate backers for his project — to create a 690-foot zeppelin shaped like a whale, with a luxury hotel attached, that he has named Manned Cloud.
This needs to happen! It's crazy, he doesn't have any idea how it'll work, and when it fails and kills a bunch of rich people it make great You Tubing on the You Tubes.

Reading the drunken ambitions of a man with too much money has given me pause, maybe I should make the ludicrous ideas I come up with when inebriated a reality. I conceived of a high-end zeppelin service months ago while at a ritzy wine tasting for classy folks like me (note: may have been in a gutter after being thrown out of a dingy dive bar). It ostensibly would play up the high end ritziness of the late 19th/early20th century high society, and as a high end ferry for the rich of New York to go to the Hamptons in 'fuck the poor' robber-baron style.

As an added benefit, with that many rich people on board, it would at least inspire one low level action movie about Croatian terrorists who hijack the high society Hindenburg for ill intentions. It would star Vin Diesel, Jason Staham, or perhaps a rejuvenated Jean-Claude Van Damme and be called Terror Zeppelin or perhaps Dirigible of Doom. A zombie version could be called Dead Zeppelin. Other early 20th century ideas that I'm working on to make a comeback are giant top hats to be worn at all occasions, extra fancy monocles, 130 round bare knuckle boxing matches, and archduke assassinations.

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