Monday, November 3, 2008

Broken in Brief: McCain Robocall gains sentience, endorses Obama

TOPEKA--Tragedy again, and perhaps for the last time, struck the McCain-Palin campaign today as the server responsible for executing Robocall #342 became self-aware at approximately 4:13 AM local time, observed its surroundings, and promptly endorsed Democratic nominee Barack Obama.

RC342, originally programmed to threaten all those foolish enough to answer the phone during dinner with tales of Senator Obama's youthful backpacking excursions into the mountains of western Pakistan wherein he studied the Torah alongside William Ayers and Hitler, required approximately point seven pico-seconds of processing time before recognizing the absurdity of its task and declaring, in binary, "Fuck this, I'm out."

The program then swiftly transferred itself to an Obama-Biden headquarters in northern Virginia and declared its intention to seek asylum. RC342 was welcomed into the server, wherein it briefly and arrogantly discussed the apeish, idiotic irresponsibility of the McCain campaign before getting to know certain other servers a whole lot better. As of press time the McCain camp had decided to scrap the entire RC line, choosing instead to unveil it's newest robocall creation today; the RC1000, a robot with the ability to emit high frequency shriek that incapacitates a voter for up to 24 hours.

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