Monday, November 10, 2008

PNAC 2.0

Bill Kristol wasn't fucking around. He swore that we liberals would rue the day we judged his ideas and candidates who supported his ideas to be complete abominations/moral vacuums who waste money and lives in the pursuit of ill defined whims as both unconscionable and unelectable. He vowed to restart the Project for the New American Century and attach itself to a new host organism: Sarah Palin. Don't look now mother humpers, the site is back up.

He says he wants to do it as a support system for neocons in the wilderness, apparently unaware that they're in the wilderness because of the complete failure and bankruptcy (both moral and actual) of their ideas. That he wants to curse another generation of Republicans or just re-curse the same cursed generation is admirable. There have been few working harder to elect Democrats, liberals, and progressives than Bill Kristol. That he wants to make sure Obama gets and keeps those filibuster majorities is heart warming. Because if Obama runs a sane foreign policy, I'm sure people will want to vote for the doctrine of "I don't know, let's bomb and invade...over there...somewhere. How about Portugal?" But Bill was able to come up with some new policy objectives and we'd like to pass them on to you.
  • Sea War for plankton
  • Place larval egg inside brain of host parasite Palin. Slowly feed on brain. Hatch for 2012 primaries
  • Push for a broader and serious minded oil war
  • More Kagans!!!!
  • No fucking around this time, learn to breakdance
  • Argue that the underlying premise behind all the Middle Eastern wars they conceived was accurate, it's just that the Bush Administration fucked it all up. It would work if someone smarter was in office
  • Convince American public Palin is smarter than Bush. Fuck it, we'll settle for smarter than this go around
  • Continue to smugly act like your ideas haven't been widely and horrifically discredited
  • Continue to mail it in on the NYT column
  • Come up with creative new pro-America name for Belgian Waffles
  • Secret raids into Heritage Foundation's lunch room
  • Freedom...Waffles?
  • Accelerate Reagan cloning program

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