President-elect Obama's advisers are quietly crafting a proposal to ship dozens, if not hundreds, of imprisoned terrorism suspects to the United States to face criminal trials, a plan that would make good on his promise to close the Guantanamo Bay prison but could require creation of a controversial new system of justice.You hear that America? The soft liberal pussification of America is at hand. No more will the terrorists fear the harsh imprisonment on our own prison island. We're releasing all the scofflaws and loosing all the innocent people who we captured and have become terrorists because of our false imprisonment and harsh conditions onto Main Street, USA to disrupt Boscov's sales, Homecoming dances, and Oklahoma football. The remaining real terrorists will be used to knock down the pillars of our democracy with open trials and humane treatment. Also, Rush Limbaugh is going to have a fuckload of "Club Guantanamo" merchandise that just isn't going to make any sense.
During his campaign, Obama described Guantanamo as a "sad chapter in American history" and has said generally that the U.S. legal system is equipped to handle the detainees. But he has offered few details on what he planned to do once the facility is closed.
Under plans being put together in Obama's camp, some detainees would be released and many others would be prosecuted in U.S. criminal courts.
What will it all be replaced by? Therapy. Detainment at a two star Bahamas resort. Then there's the pillow fight room. That's where government interrogators ask you questions about terrorist activities followed by hard pillow strikes. You don't get a pillow and it kind of hurts, but you don't feel all that freedom leaking out the Statue of Liberty's ass. Plus you'll give up the info, because while it doesn't really hurt it's keeping you from the 6:00 stage show at the resort. It's not a good show and the resort is kind of shitty, but it's better than Bahrain. You don't even want to know what Obama is doing will all the waterboarding tables. They told Cheney....and he put his fist through a staffer.
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