Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happy birthday Ted!

Begich defeats Stevens in Senate race
Mark Begich has defeated Sen. Ted Stevens in the election for U.S. Senate.

The Democratic Anchorage mayor widened his lead to 3,724 votes in today's counting of absentee and questioned ballots. The only votes left to count are approximately 2,500 special absentees from people living outside the U.S. or in remote parts of Alaska with no polling place.

The state will count those final ballots on Nov. 25.

Begich issued a statement just before 5 p.m. claiming victory, saying "I am humbled and honored to serve Alaska in the United States Senate."
That's right, Ted "Tubes" Stevens just got defeated. The man had been Alaska's senator practically since it became a state and before that he represented Alaska in Russia's Duma. Now he's free to run for the prison council seat representing E block.

As an added nut shot, today was Ted's 85th birthday. Awwwww. Everyone send Ted a bar of soap large enough to be whittled into a gun and blacked up with shoe polish so he can escape from the Supermax with his Irish Spring scented firearm. Ted can ask for a recount, but it's at the margins where he'd have to pay for it himself. Pity being that all his friends with money are in jail for bribery and kickbacks, so he'll have to dig deep if he really wants it.

Watch out for La Nuestra Familia and the Nazi Lowriders in the showers, Ted. They don't fuck around.

No comments: