Obama: Cabinetry, the Selectioneering

So over the past few days our President Elect has decided to make a few hires. You might not have heard about them because of all the Hillary Clinton Secretary of State, Team of Rivals obsession of our newsmedia. Obama went and filled three spots and I'm having a hard time figuring our how they were rivals of his. I'm beginning to fear this narrative is just meaningless pablum.

Attorney General: Eric Holder. This one was a big shoutout to the millions of Eric Holder fans out there, Obama heard your cries and gave you your beloved Holder. He was a former deputy for Janet Reno under the Clinton White House, may have been involved in the Marc Rich pardon, feels Guantanamo is an international embarrassment, and called for an end to warrantless eavesdropping and rendition. So lefties get to be mad because he's a Clinton retread and righties get to get mad because he's a soft liberal. Everyone wins.

Health and Human Services: Tom Daschle. Not only is he going to be the HHS head but he's also going to be the White House point man on health care. This more or less signals that the Obama White House is going to take passing health care very seriously, not just in designing a plan but it getting it passed. Daschle has sort of reinvented himself into a health policy guru since losing his seat and theoretically knows how to get things passed, despite his constant minority status when he was in office. He does wear red rimmed glasses though, so we'll have to question his judgment.

Homeland Security: Janet Napolitano. She is the current Arizona governor and former Arizona attorney general. Newsies keep mentioning the whole border state/immigration thing as a relevant qualification, so I will as well. She'll have to figure out the complex matrix of figuring out the relation between the President's poll numbers and when to raise the terror alert level. She oughtta have fun trying to make our most disorganized, functionally retarded section of government actually work. Or it'll drive up to the top of a bell tower with a rifle. I don't actually have any Janet Napolitano jokes and I defy you to find anyone who does. Fuck you.