Obama: Cabinetry

An hour from now, our two Presidential candidates will meet and talk. McCain will congratulate Obama on winning and Obama will in turn congratulate McCain on correctly finding the right office and showing up on time. They'll sit down and chit chat for a little bit, pretending McCain is really going to be an ally to this administration and that he holds any sway within his party. Then, suddenly, Rahm Emanuel will press a button loosing Tata from his cage, letting him bound across the desk whereupon he feasts on Lindsay Graham's face. Then they'll move on to an agenda which the WSJ claims should include climate change, energy efficiency and national service, because McCain pretended he gave a damn about the first two during the campaign and probably still gives one whole shit about them. The Washington Times even surmises a cabinet role for McCain because of Team...no I refuse to mention it.

Meanwhile, there seems to be serious vetting going on for Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. Because why not? I mean all her major Senate Committee seats are Defense and Intel related, so why not State? Plus, and this is the only reason people seem to want to give, it keeps her out Obama's way on domestic policy and in the Senate. Because apparently it's going to be in Hillary's best instance to sandbag democratic legislation for some reason. Oh wait, 2012. Media wags are still convinced she wants to run in 2012 and the best way to do that would be to turn into an even pettier version of Joe Lieberman. Also there's that Team...fuck it I won't do it.

Oh shit, the lawyers for Doris Kearns Goodwin just kicked in my door! They've got my arm up against my back! They're forcing me to type! TEAM OF RIVALS TEAM OF RIVALS TEAMOFRIVALSTEAMOFRIVALS TEAMOFRIVALS. Obama needs to pick cabinet spots based on trite observations from a book about Lincoln. Hillary and McCain ran against Obama, therefore they must be in the cabinet. Because they are rivals! No other reason is needed! Success will follow! Because of the rivals! All hail this brilliant idea that must be incessantly referenced in every cabinet related article on Obama. Build a statue to Doris Kearns Goodwin. $11.55 on Amazon. Now in paperback! Read the brilliance of the new Confucius. Lincoln picked rivals, Obama must too. Rivals!