Cheap Blogging Crutch 11.18

After Obama's win, white backlash festers in US
You stay classy white people. The Christian Science Monitor documents some of the 200 hate-related incidents that have sparked up since we done elected a black guy. Included are 4 college students who sprayed racist graffiti, cross burnings, high schoolers who got a visit from the Secret Service after posting inappropriate comments online, and two bloggers who constantly compared Obama to Cyrus from the Warriors. Also referenced in the article is the expected upswing in racist organizations and how groups like Stormfront and the League of the South are experiencing server crashes because of all the new interest. Post-racial? No friends, still racial racial. Hope you didn't get too enamored with the capacity of the South for reason.

The Case Against Hot Pockets
In case you were wondering, the foreign makers of Hot Pockets are laughing at you for eating them. Plus, the stuff they cram into them are just some Danish guy's guesses on based around a stereotypical notion of what fat American idiots eat. The Hot Pockets themselves are probably laughing at you. Everyone's laughing at you. Hooooooot Pock-ets!

Is Obama the Antichrist?
Thanks Newsweek, I really needed you to delve into whether some deranged God humpers really think Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. Thanks for also treating the subject with the same seriousness you would treat a story on a cancer cure. The lottery numbers were 666? You even got serious analysis from Jerry Falwell's Liberty university. That's all the info I need. Crucify him!

Can Mall Be Filled For an Inauguration? 4 Million May Try It.
Some people are expecting that 1% of the American populace will turn out on the Mall in DC to hear Obama give his Hopiest speech ever. 4 million. Well actually, maybe a million will be able to actually see him at the edge of the horizon. 1.5 million will actually be able to perceive his words audibly ("Blessed are the cheesemakers?"). The rest will be standing all the way back in Fredricksburg and Baltimore seeing nothing and hearing nothing, wondering why they didn't just watch it on TV. I know it's historical and all, but you all aren't going to be at the front.