Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Good news: Economy worse than expected

Economy's tumble even worse than expected in 3Q
The economy took a tumble in the summer that was worse than first thought as American consumers throttled back their spending by the most in 28 years, further proof the country is almost certainly in the throes of a painful recession.

The updated reading on the economy's performance, released Tuesday by the Commerce Department, showed gross domestic product shrank at a 0.5 percent annual rate in the July-September quarter.
The new reading on GDP underscores just how quickly the economy deteriorated as housing, credit and financial crises intensified. The economy logged growth of 2.8 percent in the second quarter.
This is always the good news you want to hear. "You know that economic collapse thing, with the stock market collapse, the global credit crisis, the home foreclosures, the job loss, and all that? You know how everyone says it's the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression? Yeah...uhhhh...it's worse than that." The good news? If you can afford to buy things, you are one of the lucky few. That means you'll be able to reap the Christmas season benefits of massively discounted shit that stores are going to be tossing out there so as to stave off total collapse. The economy is in the shitter, but you might leverage it into a nice 1080p HD LCD.

Don't worry though, Hank Paulson has a plan. Another $600 billion from the Fed to buy up distressed mortgages with no relief to actual home owners. They'll talk about making loans easier to get(wasn't that the point of the last massive bailout, to unfreeze credit markets?), but won't talk about job creation so you can actually pay off the loan. Lie naked on a pile of money, then call up his Wall Street buddies and start giving handing out all the money that was touching his nude ass. Two months until the adults can actually do something.

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