Saturday News Hole -- 11.8.08

Something non-Rahm Emmanuel to think about while you try to ignore the fact that our economic system is delving deeper into the shitter by the day...

The Kitty's Running Dry
Faced with $2 Billion-per-month upkeep and a vanishing customer base that for some reason seeks quality automobiles weighing less than armored personnel carriers, General Motors continues to whine like a kid with a skinned knee. Hoping to avoid bankruptcy before year's end, the world's largest automaker and health care provider is once again approaching Congress, hat-in-hand, for some of my (your) money.

There is no Finer Political Currency
This week saw the election of a young, ambitious politician promising to bring Change and lead his country in a new and more prosperous direction. Though somewhat short in experience, this Ivy League-educated son of an immigrant has shown tremendous political acumen during his rapid rise to the top of the national scene. His name? Prime Minister-Elect John Key, of New Zealand.

Al Gore Sighting!
Former President-Elect Al Gore, always one to buck a trend, says he was "overwhelmed" by Obama's election. Selfish bastard that he is, Gore then urged Obama to utilize his army of supporters and general political good will to do silly things like invest heavily in alternative energy, unify the national power grid, and press for truly revolutionary policies aimed at weening us off fossil fuels.

You Ain't Got no Job, You Ain't Got Shit to Do
The economy hemorrhaged another quarter-million jobs in October, pushing the jobless rate to a 14-year high. What's more, it looks like this monthly culling will continue well into the new year, where we'll start fresh with a new president, a new direction, and a national unemployment rate not seen since the first Reagan administration.

Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner
The list of banks for which the FDIC has been appointed receiver continues to grow. The newest banks of which you, the American taxpayer, now own a piece are the Security Pacific Bank of Los Angeles and Houston's Franklin Bank, SSB. Feel free to call them up and ask how your involuntary investment is going.

Are you Ready for the Fun Part? Here Comes the Fun Part
Nice flikr collection of the Obama family throughout election night. Look at the man and try, just try to ignore the fact that our new President is one cool motherfucker.