Monday, March 8, 2010

St. Sarah the Childlike

We all had a good bit of fun with former VP candidate, teen pregnancy advocate, and Alaska quitter Sarah Palin writing trite notes on her hand. Because she's one giant walking joke and Uncle Sean and Uncle Matt likes our material to come easy.

She wrote "energy" on her hand! Because apparently she thought she'd forget about the concept of abundant or usable power that can be used in a capacity to do work unless she had a reminder on her palm. Maybe she just wanted to remind everyone to drink Alaska brand oil or something.

But whatever you may think this says about her intellectual capacity, the lack of paper in her immediate vicinity, the inability almost two years hence to remember her rote, unchanging talking points, or the superior skin writing excellence of Bic, just know that you are wrong. Because God and Jesus and the Bible.
Isaiah 49:16 reads: "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

"Hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it's good enough for me, for us. He says, in that passage he says, I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you. And I'm like OK, I'm in good company," Palin said to laughter.
See, God did it. Sure, God is all knowing, all powerful, and omniscient, but sometimes he has to write shit on his hand to remember it. He created the Heavens and the Earth first, pens second, and just didn't get to paper until like the ass end of day six. And she's just tryin' to be like the Lord and you're tryin' to be all like that Devil guy who was like "Hey God, get a fuckin' pen and some papyrus" and tried to tempt our Lord in the desert with visions of Microsoft Office Word, Sharpies, and corrasable bond.

So, you know, the baby Jesus. That's who you're criticizing when you think you're criticizing Sarah Palin. She was merely writing words on her hand to help her brain stand up to the mighty onslaught of pre-screened questions from teabaggers, much in the manner of our infant Lord. If you're fine with that keep up with the mocking. Just know that the Lord is taking note. On His hand.

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