Hit the road

With Leno back on the air at 11:30 and everyone under 40 back to avoiding NBC at 11:30, one wonders what our beloved Coco is up to. Sure, he's Twittering up the intertubes with bon-mots about being jobless, alone, and near suicide, but what of his future? It turns out he's hitting the road.

The former host of "The Tonight Show" announced a 30-city theater tour on Thursday. Sidekick Andy Richter and the former "Tonight Show" band will join O'Brien for what he promises to be "a night of music, comedy, hugging and the occasional awkward silence."

The "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour" begins April 12 in Eugene, Ore., and concludes June 14 in Atlanta. It will visit theaters in at least 20 states and two Canadian provinces. Additional dates may be added.

O'Brien quipped: "It was either a massive 30-city tour or start helping out around the house."

Included in the dates are a stop at Bonnaroo and stops at nowhere close to fucking Pittsburgh MOTHER FUCK! Details up on Team Coco.com, which now seems to be the legal home of Conan O'Brien. In exchange for tickets you will have to give them money in the amount of $40 to $80 funbucks or a requisite amount of livestock. Good luck to him and may he take his show to someplace that isn't a minimum five hour drive for me.