How things are going to be

Like most regular Freedomericans I too wonder what my future is under the yoke of Obamacare, plowing the fields of socialism. What will this bill mean for me, the most important of all Americans: the lowly read dick joke blogger. Some would say I look at this Washington Post health care calculator to have it specifically tell me what it means for me. Others would offer up Speaker Pelosi's page where the bill, summaries of the bill, bullet points of the bill and all sorts of other information about the bill is listed. Maybe some would say I should look at Ezra Klein's series on explaining the health care reform, or the Kaiser Family Foundation's health reform page, maybe you could look through the health care section of the Wonk Room, take a gander around the Center For American Progress, or maybe you should just avail myself of Google... provided you're outside China.

Those people would be wrong. The people I need to listen to are right wing media pundits. They're going to tell me exactly what it's going to be like now that this reform has become law.

Beck added: "You must -- must get on the phone in your districts. You must wake everybody up you know. This is the end of prosperity in America forever if this bill passes. This is the end of America as you know it."

Beck "warn[ed]" that if the bill "passes, the country is in real dire trouble." He went on to say: "The pieces that the president needs to control every aspect of your life, to fundamentally transform America, will be finished. He'll have them all,"

Limbaugh stated: "It is a government takeover of health care and granny is gonna die. Granny always dies at some point -- we all do. It's gonna be hastened under this bill."

Fox News contributor Dick Morris said what Obama "has in mind is curbing medical care to the elderly," and that he's "going to set up a panel" to determine treatment. Morris said he's "100 percent positive" this will happen.

Fox Business: "Does Obamacare mean millions more jobs destroyed?"

Cramer: "Obamacare will topple the stock market."

Limbaugh: Democrats will regulate "every aspect of our lives."

Syndicated columnist Cal Thomas said on Fox News: "The president says they're not going to pull the plug on granny. No, but they will deny her care because she's costing too much and she's too old."

Radio host Jim Quinn said that "Bolshevik Barbie and our marginally documented president" want "the power to control your body and your life. Quinn added: "Giving the government that power is allowing the government to commit a violent assault on your body -- a violent assault on your most precious possession, which is your life."

Quinn predicted that "if they pass this thing, you are going to see insurrection. You're going to see an uprising. People are just not going to take this.This is about establishing from now on and forever a socialist state in America, ripping the Constitution to shreds which progressives have hated for over 100 years.

Quinn: "If they pass health care ... that is the end of the republic."

Cal Thomas claimed health reform "is an outrage" and "a sham"; "[e]uthanasia is coming."

Limbaugh: "Human beings will die earlier than normal" under "freedom killing" and "life threatening" health-care reform.

Limbaugh said the "whole bill is about death" and "rationing." He continued: "It is the single greatest tool the government will have to regulate every aspect of behavior. This is a freedom killing, and it is going to end up being a life-threatening bill."

Chris Baker suggested that health reform will lead to overweight people going to jail or being put to death

Limbaugh: "Obamacare" will "smother the individual," "aimed at robbing you of your humanity," "all of us will be slaves."

Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.

I don't think I'm going to like this health reform thing at all. Christ, those last three guys were doctors. I don't want my protons reversing or my molecules exploding at the speed of light. THAT'S NOT THE CHANGE I SIGNED UP FOR BARRY!

Oh God, there's no hope. It's really the complete collapse of everything and everything, with slavery, human sacrifice, euthanasia, death panels, and some sort of temporal displacement where George Washington is erased from history. If only we knew beforehand. What have we wrought?