Angering God

Health reform is seemingly on it's way to passing. Nancy Pelosi has begun her brutal campaign of kidnapping on the fence Democrat's children, has begun breaking arms, has collected a gruesome menagerie of nude photos of our elected betters, and has singled out several pictures where Representatives kind look like they have boners while children sit on their laps. She's playing for keeps and wants this vote done by Sunday.

And in the last gasp of whining before they have to face the fact that Americans might be getting better health care, right wing commentators have moved off the "granny kill squad", "reconciliation and deem & pass are demonic tolls of the devil that have never been used before", and other such memes to latch onto one last pathetic criticism of Barack Obama's attempt to move US health care into the low thirties on WHO rankings: it'll make the baby Jesus sad. Of course Glenn Beck and Rep Steve "Revolution" King of Iowa were involved.

KING: They intend to vote on the Sabbath, during Lent, to take away the liberty that we have right from God. [...]

BECK: You couldn’t have said it better. Here is a group of people that have so perverted our faith and our hope and our charity, that is a — this is an affront to God. ... But I think it’s absolutely appropriate that these people are trying to put the nail in the coffin on our country on a Sunday — something our founders would have never, ever, ever done. Out of respect for God.

The triple threat. The health care bill will not only put the final nail in the coffin of America, but it is both an affront to God and a violation of the principles of the founding father. A Trinity of America hatred.

And you know how pissed God gets about these things. "My children, I know you were attempt to better the health and well being of My other children, but for the love of Me why did you do it on a Sunday? Unconscionable. It's right in the Ten Commandments! You're all being banished to hell and I'm using My veto power, as enumerated to me in the US Constitution, to strike this bill from all creation."

So take note, we've officially reached the "It'll make the baby Jesus cry" stage of health care opposition. It's the last sad stage before what I'm assuming are mass suicides scheduled for a few minutes after Democrats vote to destroy the country, Barry high fives everyone, they eat an ice cream cake shaped like Karl Marx, and Genn Beck immolates himself on the Capitol steps. Rest easy, this whole horrid shitshow is almost over. Except for the filing lawsuits part. By which I mean to say this will never end.