Monday, March 29, 2010

Broken in Brief: Oooh ahh, you know what I’m talking about, uhh, ahhh, Christ

THE KITCHEN TABLE—Moments ago sources close to your father revealed that oh, uh… shit, Christ… he just had it on the tip of his tongue …shit. These sources also said that it was, in fact, completely relevant to the conversation at hand.

“You know what I’m talking about,” the man who raised you said quizzically. “You know… the thing? Fuck, stop being so obtuse. You know what I’m talking about! The thing! The thiiiing! Jimmy’s boy had one. Weren’t you friends? What do you mean you weren’t? Aw, hell!”

Sources claim you know goddamn well what he’s talking about and he doesn't appreciate your attitude.

Representatives from your mother asked if they were talking about how Jimmy’s boy majored in finance at Bowling Green, but these concerns were quickly dismissed as “damn fool nonsense” and “immaterial to the point.” The point, which if he could just remember, would have made sense within the context of the discussion they were having, whatever the hell it was about.

Furthermore, it is going to be noted that it’s your goddamn fault anyway for distracting him when he was about to say something and that, fuck it, it doesn’t matter anyway. Spokesmen for your father note that, no, you’re the one who shows symptoms of early-onset Alzheimer’s, and that he’s had enough of this shit and he’s going downstairs to watch basketball.

A source close to your mother revealed that he gets like this sometimes and its best just to let him be.

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