Of demons and abortions

If you've looked around the streets of your fair city or town today and have noticed that there seem to bee less crazies in the street panhandling for change, handing our xeroxed pamphlets about Ayn Rand, and ranting about the end times, that's with good reason: they're all in Washington putting on their final teabagger march against health reform. Waving around signs that say "Paid for by the RNC" in a bit of unintended irony and admitting defeat before they have even worked themselves into a full incoherent froth.

But as it is a Tea Party rally, that means there is ample opportunity for GOP Representatives to get up in front of a large crowd of crazies with misspelled placards and vaguely racist characters of our Kenyan President and try to out crazy them. Take for instance Louie Gohmert of, no surprises here, Texas. He decided to go for the gusto.

GOHMERT: I brought the bill that’s being talking about. Now I don’t want to offend anybody, I’m sure that there are people here who think abortion is okay, and I don’t want to make you sick, but I brought an abortion to show you today.

He then held up a bloody fetus high in the air, yelled "fuckin' liberals" and then tomahawk dunked it into a body bag that had "Reserved for Everyone's Grandma" stenciled on it.

Actually he held up the health care bill. He then made some claims about how the bills funds abortion, funds illegal immigrants, funds abortions from illegal immigrants, funds illegal immigrant abortions, and various other combinations of the words "illegals" and "abortion" you can think of. Of course this is not true. I did not have to tell you that, there are plenty of places to tell you that. Hell the bill probably makes abortion laws more restrictive in this country. But screaming facts at a tea bagger rally just isn't the style of the times, so we'll move on.

Gohmert wasn't finished moving on though, and he claimed to sense mystical spirits in the air.

There’s a whole lot of demons going on. There’s a lot of demons around here apparently.

He ain't afraid of no ghost! This bill is possessed! It's got the evil spirits and the ill omens! They call upon the spirit of Ronald Reagan and Hayek to exorcise it! This bill is unclean!

Frankly I just wish they'd pick one line of attack. Is this bill the ominous Ides of March? A vicious Pelosi-led suicide attack? The advent of the grandmapocalypse? A demonic abortion? The dawn of a virulent new socialist-communist hybrid? The end of civilization as we know it? I just want to know what evil I'm contributing to when I find it slightly easier to get slightly cheaper health care in 2014.