Friday, March 26, 2010

This also happened

Lost in all the hysteria about Barack Obama traveling back in time to help Benedict Arnold surrender West Point to the limeys and alternately murder all four of Thomas Jefferson's grandparents while they were children (that's why Texas had to erase him from history), was the fact that something else happened. Student Loans were reformed. And, in a break from tradition, was done so in a non-corrupt manner that didn't result in tons of shady giveaways to corporate interests, and could actually be classified as *whispers* liberal. Shh, don't tell anyone.

Now on any other week this would be hailed as some sort of massive progressive achievement. But this week also included the systematic dismantling of Abe Lincoln's log cabin or something, so it got lost in the shuffle. What happened?
Ending one of the fiercest lobbying fights in Washington, Congress voted Thursday to force commercial banks out of the federal student loan market, cutting off billions of dollars in profits in a sweeping restructuring of financial-aid programs and redirecting most of the money to new education initiatives.
The Congressional Budget Office said the direct-lending approach would save taxpayers about $61 billion over 10 years. Roughly $40 billion of the savings will be redirected to higher education. Education programs will get an additional $10 billion from the health care package.

The bill includes some landmark changes, like automatic increases, tied to inflation, in the maximum Pell grant award.
The legislation will make it easier to pay back student loans, by reducing the share of income that a graduate must devote to loan payments and by accelerating loan forgiveness
Wait, they ended the bank racket that allowed them to make risk free government backed loans, expanded access to college for lower income students, made serious investments in higher education, and making it easier to pay off those loans? I'm not sure I feel comfortable with this unless I'm assured there's some sort of crooked deal with banks and financial giants that we haven't heard about. This just isn't how the American government is supposed to do business! This is an outrage! Now Sean is going to have to stop stripping to pay off his loans!

Listen, I'd like to be able to explain to you just what all of this means. But unless I have Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, or the Congressional GOP telling me specifically how this is going to rough up my mother in a dark alley, cause tiny Joesph Stalins to burst out of my ribcage, pour sugar in my father's gas tank, and date rape Betsy Ross I'm not sure how to grasp what I'm sure was an unprecedented assault on freedom.

Let's just assume they dug up the corpse of liberty that they had previously killed and buried during health reform and had sex with it while MSNBC filmed it. Deal? Deal. Now let's go cut the breaks on the car of some Congressmen who voted for it.

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