The Pope's cheif exorcist

The Devil is living in the Vatican, says the Pope's chief exorcist

CHILD sex scandals rocking the Catholic Church are proof of the Devil living in the Vatican, the Pope's chief exorcist claims.

Father Gabriel Amorth, 84, who has carried out more than 70,000 exorcisms in 50 years, said that Pope Benedict "fully agreed" with him in "casting out evil"
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"The Devil lives in the Vatican. Naturally it's difficult to find proof but the true consequences are visible. We have cardinals who don't believe in Christ, bishops connected with demons. Then we have these stories of paedophilia. You can see the rot when we speak of Satan's smoke in the holy rooms of the Vatican."

This may be my favorite headline ever. Hell, it may be my favorite job title ever. Both Sean an I agree we'd just like to hold that job, even honorarily for a minute or two, just so we could put that on a resume with "Did mortal battle with Satan. Cast out evil spirits. Put soul at hazard." underneath it explaining what the job entailed.

Who's a man gotta make a pact with to get that job? I imagine it to either be exactly like the movie Constantine, i.e. shooting demons in the face/beating the unholy shit out of Gavin Rossdale/Peter Stormare is the devil. Or maybe it's like being part of the SWAT team where you rappel out of a helicopter in cardinal's robes with a bunch of Benedictine monks holding Kalashnikovs, kick open a door/swing through a window, boot the afflicted in the chest, smash a vial of holy water on them, touch a cross to their forehead, a little Nomine Patris, Filii, et Spiritus Sancti later, and to get back in the helicopter and go off to save the next poor soul... for the Pope.

At least the Church is finally starting to blame the Devil for all the shady shit that goes on and is covered up. A little man in a red horned suit carrying a hayfork is a better religious explanation for covering up child abuse than saying "everyone was doing it", claiming the Pope is being set up, or just outright defending it. "The Devil did it" is a much better reason. It's somehow makes it all less evil.