FACE~!

Sarah Palin decided to wade into the news again today. She's out doing what she does bet: collecting large sums of money in order to go to places she's never been to before in order to support a candidate who passed a teabagger intellectual screening and ooga booga about the liberals.

But today she decided to tangle with one Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL), he of the "If you do get sick America, the Republican health care plan is this: “die quickly” quote. We like him here at These Bastards. Mostly because he's willing to sink to the level of his GOP opponents and go after them in amusing ways. And being a Harvard grad with a masters, JD, and PhD, he does it in that way that leaves some intellectual scorch marks as well.

Not today, however. Palin came into his district to knock him and he let loose with a broadside that they must have been waiting to unleash for weeks. Thankfully she gave them an excuse. Excerpts from the Grayson campaign e-mail:

Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery.
...
In response to Palin's attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson's entire name on it. He thanked Palin for alleviating the growing shortage of platitudes in Central Florida.

Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting.
...
Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.

When asked to comment about what effect Palin's criticism might have, Grayson pointed out, "As the Knave's horse says in Alice in Wonderland, 'dogs will believe anything.'"
...
Grayson said that the Alaskan chillbilly was welcome to return to Central Florida anytime, as long as she brings lots of money with her, and spends it.
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Scientists are studying Sarah Palin's travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.

It goes on like that for paragraphs. Might we add: FACE~!. Also: more please. All that was missing was a monkey dressed like Palin that Grayson hit with a cream pie and then knocked into a dunk tank.