Camelot gets tired of waiting

Well New York, you attempt to replace one famous last name with another hit a critical snag. It seems Caroline Kennedy is no longer able to hold her breath and stamp her feet until that nasty old blind man gives her Uncle Bobby's seat. Oh, fiddlesticks.

Caroline Kennedy says she is dropping out of a bid to win appointment to the U.S. Senate seat once held by her slain uncle, Bobby Kennedy.

In a statement released early Thursday, she says she told Gov. David Paterson that she is abandoning her attempt to succeed Hillary Rodham Clinton for personal reasons.

Those personal reasons? According to the New York Post the most personal reason is that Patterson was simply no longer considering her for the seat. So she did what anyone would do in that situation: claim they didn't want it anyway and leak to the press that you're withdrawing. But where does this leave New York, tragically unencumbered with legacy/celebrity names vying to be the Senator-Select? Who knows, probably someone who got elected and worked in the legislature for years. It's almost enough to make you want to vomit.

But not to put to fine a point on it Patty-poo but shouldn't you, I don't know, have someone in mind by now? It's been months. The crooked fucker picked a guy in the middle of a sideshow. Delaware picked a guy. You can't figure it out? We're already into the new session of congress. Chuck Schumer isn't suddenly getting two votes now. I know it'll probably make some people mad, but this is what the people of NY elected Eliot Spitzer to do. But he likes hookers, so it's your problem.

Obama: Cabinetry, the Selectioneering

So over the past few days our President Elect has decided to make a few hires. You might not have heard about them because of all the Hillary Clinton Secretary of State, Team of Rivals obsession of our newsmedia. Obama went and filled three spots and I'm having a hard time figuring our how they were rivals of his. I'm beginning to fear this narrative is just meaningless pablum.

Attorney General: Eric Holder. This one was a big shoutout to the millions of Eric Holder fans out there, Obama heard your cries and gave you your beloved Holder. He was a former deputy for Janet Reno under the Clinton White House, may have been involved in the Marc Rich pardon, feels Guantanamo is an international embarrassment, and called for an end to warrantless eavesdropping and rendition. So lefties get to be mad because he's a Clinton retread and righties get to get mad because he's a soft liberal. Everyone wins.

Health and Human Services: Tom Daschle. Not only is he going to be the HHS head but he's also going to be the White House point man on health care. This more or less signals that the Obama White House is going to take passing health care very seriously, not just in designing a plan but it getting it passed. Daschle has sort of reinvented himself into a health policy guru since losing his seat and theoretically knows how to get things passed, despite his constant minority status when he was in office. He does wear red rimmed glasses though, so we'll have to question his judgment.

Homeland Security: Janet Napolitano. She is the current Arizona governor and former Arizona attorney general. Newsies keep mentioning the whole border state/immigration thing as a relevant qualification, so I will as well. She'll have to figure out the complex matrix of figuring out the relation between the President's poll numbers and when to raise the terror alert level. She oughtta have fun trying to make our most disorganized, functionally retarded section of government actually work. Or it'll drive up to the top of a bell tower with a rifle. I don't actually have any Janet Napolitano jokes and I defy you to find anyone who does. Fuck you.

Decisions decisions

This? You ain't seein' this today. Enjoy Meryl Streep singing.

You may or may not have heard, some Batman movie is coming out. There hasn't been much promotion of it, so you might not have noticed. It is already better than sliced and whole bread. Heath Ledger has already won 10 posthumous Oscars for it. It is civilization, worship it.

So you have one question to answer for me, my TB afficionados, what are you going to see: Space Chimps or Mamma Mia!? Because Dark Knight is gonna be sooooooooold out.

Also a Watchmen trailer is attached to TDK, go watch it, then go buy what will always be the superior version, the graphic novel.