your wasted lives, our boosted egos

At some point today, These Bastards will greet visitor # 10,000. Let me be the first to thank you poor, bored people for driving up the hits and laying the groundwork for our eventual world domination. When the invasion comes, some of you will be spared.

Given that the average page visit lasts just over three minutes, Matthew and I have now wasted approximately 30,000 minutes of other people's time. That works out to 500 hours, or almost 21 days -- three full weeks -- of squandered productivity. If you think that's egregious, ponder how little Matthew and I must have going on, considering we waste at least as much time (occasionally more) actually writing the content.

Anyway, much like the corrupt political machinery whose zany hijinks provide our source material, These Bastards rewards loyalty. Therefore, if in the course of perusing one of Matthew's long-winded bouts of indignant snark or an obscenity-laced class warrior tirade of my own making, you happen to see the site meter sitting at a clean 10K, congratulations! You are our winner. Who's the big winner? You're the big winner. Our email addresses are to the right should you wish to claim your reward.

And please, claim your reward. In anticipation of this momentous occasion, Matthew has been baking pies all week. Meat pies.