Debate prep for the candidates

That magical time of year is almost upon us: debate time! This Friday at the University of Mississippi the first in a series of debates will take place. The Wall Street Journal has an article up on the candidates debate prep. For McCain it's napping (true, not an old guy joke) followed by debating sessions with one of the two black Republicans, Michael Steele. Apparently McCain needs to practice against a black guy so he isn't shocked into incoherence when he sees Obama across from him without gardening tools, a prison jumpsuit, or a squeegee with windshield cleaning rag. Silly John, all black people look the same, not debate the same.

Obama, for his part, is preparing by trying to explain the internet to his grandfather (McCain is old) and getting on the lawns of local curmudgeons across the state, then debating them when they tell him to get off. Joe Biden is prepping against a woman so as to knock out any 'Toot's" "Sweetheart's" "Honey's" "Baby's" "Bitches" and "Darling's" that may creep up. Sarah Palin is sitting in a classroom trying to memorize 5 sentence soundbytes to any answer that might come up and praying that's all she needs to know.

So frankly it seems that the only useful debate prep anyone does is finding someone that looks like your opponent and then working up the proper amount of contempt by proxy. The first debate is on foreign policy (The surge: awesomest thing ever or should it replace Jesus?) and will be moderated by Jim Lehrer.