Stagefright John?

Oh man, John McCain is regretting breaking up the band this early. Sarah Palin went home to prep for Charlie Gibson's slow pitch softballs about moose seasoning and proper gun maintenance. She also has to go back because her son IS SHIPPING OUT ON 9/11! Actually, it's 9/12, but you try an exploit the 12th of September for political gain, it's fucking hard. All it's got is Hitler annexing the Sudetenland, Kareem Abdul Jabbar beating the Harlem Globetrotters, Gustav Mahler's 8th symphony, and Neil Peart's birthday. You try ginning up votes over the annexation fears of drum solo fanatics.

Now John has the stage fright. He's canceling appearances he was going to make without her. He must be afraid he won't attract the crowds he's been attracting as of late and that he'll be back to the same audience he was stuck with pre-Palin. You know, veterans who came to the American Legion hall to hear McCain mention their service in the Korean War, but who couldn't leave after that because they parked near a dumpster outside and they swear they saw a raccoon lurking. Rabies is a serious affliction.

Don't worry John, she'll be back. Muddle through these next few days of low enthusiasm from the far right base she energizes. It'll at least be a few days off from the increasingly irate coverage she's getting about all the lies that are in her stump speech. You know, the same speech she gave at the convention. As an aside, really, you couldn't actually give her a second speech? She has to do the same one? The one with all the obvious lies about her record in it? Anywho, it'll all be good by Monday. Ever vigilant. You're a superstar, hit the stage and knock 'em dead tiger! The skirt will be back for you to hide under. This? We call it sunlight, you'll get used to it now, out in the open.