Shotgun weddings as campaign events

I bet you were thinking there's no lower point this election could hit, short of all out race baiting. You were wrong, the McCain campaign is like five barrel bottoms ahead of you. McCain camp prays for Palin wedding.

In an election campaign notable for its surprises, Sarah Palin, the Republican vice- presidential candidate, may be about to spring a new one — the wedding of her pregnant teenage daughter to her ice-hockey-playing fiancé before the November 4 election.

Inside John McCain’s campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. “It would be fantastic,” said a McCain insider. “You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week.”
...
McCain is expected to have a front-row seat at Bristol’s wedding and to benefit from the outpouring of goodwill that it could bring. “What’s the downside?” a source inside the McCain campaign said. “It would be wonderful. I don’t know that there has ever been a pre-election wedding before.”

First off, if McCain has actual campaign people saying this kind of stuff to him, well it's amazing he's not polling around Nader's level. First off, the newsmedia is going to shut down for a week to go cover a seedily staged shotgun wedding with John McCain lecherously leering over the 'happy' couple? I know our media has low standards but even they can see a cheaply tasteless stunt. There's no downside? Coming off as shamelessly ruining the lives of two teenagers so your campaign can get some free media coverage that will almost certainly, largely revolve around the whole staggering exploitative feel of the wedding will be good? There are people who think this wouldn't backfire horribly?

Shit, I want to see McCain crash and burn horrifically, but even I have my limits. Wait, I'm getting an idea. Play into the whole exploitation angle. Make John McCain a part of every single part of the wedding. He walks Bristol down the aisle and he's Levi's best man. John becomes a licensed sea captain and then marries them under maritime law. That'll really give them an opportunity to mention he was in the Navy and a POW. They pledge fidelity to each other and John McCain. Then for the reception and photo taking, John is always within a three foot radius of the couple, appearing in the background of every photo. He can toddle around the dancefloor, making the first dance an awkward three person shuffle. The cake is a giant chocolate, icing, and fondant representation of John-boy masturbating with an American flag. When the couple leaves to go to the limo, they have to leap through a burning hoop that says "Vote McCain/Palin 08" in fire letters while holding fireproof McCain/Palin placards. Then they name the kid Trundle Vote For John McCain Palin.

Better yet, force a premature birth so Johnny Ballgame can better use it as a prop. I hear McCain insiders think that's a winner.