Sell your shitpile

Don't let Wall Street have all the fun. Dump all your distressed assets on Paulson in exchange for gobs of cash. That's why God created Buy My Shitpile.com, to give you a conduit to sell your worthless shit at premium prices.

Remember, just like Wall Street its not what the assets are actually worth, it's what you think they're worth that's key. Comically, my sense of self worth is only $4.32. Pricing jokes! You have distressed assets, help Henry Paulson give you vast sums of money for them, our economy depends on it.