Obama controls McCain's mind

It's clear this campaign has taken a turn into unbridled lying and negativity. We also know that one man, and one man alone, is responsible for that turn: Barack Obama. John McCain said so.

Questioned about the tone of the campaign, Sen. McCain insisted he was running an issues-based campaign and put the blame on his opponent for refusing to join him in town hall meetings.

"First of all this is a tough business," the Arizona senator said. "Second of all, I think the tone of this whole campaign would've been very different if Sen. Obama had accepted my request for us to appear at town hall meetings all over America."

That's right, Barack Obama forced McCain to lie and go 100% negative because he didn't wanna do McCain's idea. No doubt one of the myriad of things Obama might have forced McCain to do. Bad touching. Lime Rickey's and Tom Collins' at breakfast. Eating catfood. Not vetting his VP.

Some might say a President with the mental powers to derail an entire campaign into gutter sniping with the single denial of a town hall meeting, would be an asset in the White House. Just think of all the things he could mindfuck the Russians into doing for us. Anyone who refused Obama's psychic commands would be banished into the cornfield. But no, man was not meant to govern this way. That's why even after coming out of Obama's voodoo trance of negative campaigning, McCain is going to continue to assail everything about Barack. So he can never enact his psychic horror on the American populace.