Broken In Brief: Bush Justice Department Accidentally Delivers Congressional Subpoena

WASHINGTON–Surprise in the Capital today as the Justice Department accidentally actually served a congressional subpoena to one Juan Jimenez, a food services worker at the White House who was called in to testify over allegations that he illegally conducted "Waterboard Wednesdays" at the White House cafeteria.

“Boy is my face red,” said a sheepish Attorney General Michael Mukasey. “I thought we were sending over a message for him not to talk or show up under any circumstances. But it turns out we sent the subpoena and shredded the warning. Mondays, huh?”

Congressional Democrats seemed confounded that any action whatsoever was undertaken by the DOJ. “I just send them over so we can use all this paper we have sitting around. We’ve got reams of the shit and frankly my paper plane designs are becoming trite and unimaginative,” said Congressman John Conyers of Michigan. “Besides, I come from a big paper producing state and the more paper we use here with bullshit subpoenas we know they won’t listen to, the more money it makes for my constituents.”

Sources say Mukasey will get extra hard noogies from the President next time they meet, Democrats will send over two more subpoenas before giving up and going home, and Jiminez will be allowed to continue delivering his theme meals, including, but not limited to, Wiretap Waffles, Preemptive Fondue, and Compassionate Cookies, each of which have been declared "vital to national security interest” by the Bush Administration.