Al Gore's on line one John. Abort! Abort!

You know how long it took McCain to build this? 5 1/2 years.

Oh boy, in an attempt to prove that John McCain is 'hip' and 'with it' as the kids say, Johnny and his subordinates went off on a boastful little jaunt. They really feel the need to knock down this 'technical illiterate' thing that.......they started when McCain expressed his lack of knowledge about 'the computers', 'the Google', 'the internets' and this 'confounded steam locomotion, consarnit.'

“He did this,” Douglas Holtz-Eakin told reporters this morning, holding up his BlackBerry. “Telecommunications of the United States is a premier innovation in the past 15 years, comes right through the Commerce committee so you’re looking at the miracle John McCain helped create and that’s what he did.”

That's right, John McCain invented the blackberry! Mr. Gore, you still get pilloried for the 'invented the internet' thing and some tech illiterate wants to go off on an 'invented the Blackberry' jaunt. Will no one ever learn anything from you Al?

Immediately the McCain camp started screeching the brakes and firing up the coal powered backpedaling machine.

"He would not claim to be the inventor or anything, much less the BlackBerry," McDonald said. "This was obviously a boneheaded joke by a staffer," McDonald said.

Except it was from one of McCain's top economic advisers and it was presented in a "You wanna hear something that'll blow your rube ass minds" way in an attempt to impress the press gaggle that was typing excitedly into their Blackberry's as he spoke. "Foolish press, cover not John's lies, do you not see he bestowed upon you your phone addiction, the Crackberry. Bow before him and don't ask questions!"

Yesterday McCain was trying to take credit for wireless policy due to his seat on the Commerce Committee, meanwhile we've slipped to 15th in broadband penetration and pay more for less bandwidth than other countries. But don't note that, John McCain spent the last decade digging trenches and laying fiber optic cable during the day and inventing cellphones in the night. Please vote for him or he will not bestow technological wonders unto the masses. Though I must say a day spent on "I invented the Blackberry" is better than a day spent on "Fuck yeah this economy is rockin'."