Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The New Cheney


You maybe wondering who John McCain will add to the ticket as his VP. You'll probably have no idea who they are and you probably wouldn't have voted for them anyway. "Who is this pasty faced, helmet haired goon?" You'll ask yourself. "I wonder if he'll be as bad as Cheney." You'll say next.

The Democratic National Committee has done us all a favor. It has created a site, the Next Cheney, taken seven of the most mention VP picks and said they're all Cheney. No muss, no fuss, no need to think. I could hardly believe it, but the DNC says they're all as bad as Cheney. I couldn't believe Democrats wouldn't even like one of them.

So go check out the next politician you need to blindly hate. It could be Charlie Crist, a man who "has an impressive resume of questionable ethics and shady dealings, just like his hero George Bush." Damning. Unless McCain goes off the list, then imagine that person raping a unicorn then killing it with an oil derrick, and it'll tide you over till the DNC gets a site up.

Though looking at this list, I don't see anyone that would have a man sized safe or an itchy trigger finger. These men and women even seem to have functioning moral compasses and the ability to appear in daylight. New Cheney's my ass.

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