The Olympics, brought to you by Coke and petty political bitching

You aren't going to be able to escape. Instead of endless Coke ads with Bonnie Blair or McDonald's double cheeseburger ads that Michael Johnson swears he eats, you're going to get $11 million of John McCain and Barack Obama ads. You'll be sitting there trying to watch Finland and Australia play water polo and then cut to ads reminding you why you hate your country like all decent Americans do. Hopefully that works out like the Superbowl, where $11 million equals 22 seconds of air time.

You'll get to see gems like another McCain "Celebrity" gem where Admiral Ape Rape proclaims Obama's love of taxes and hatred of jobs. Or the one by Obama about how John McCain isn't a maverick and holds conservative Republican positions, namely "Do what Bush says". Maybe Obama will piece something together about the tire inflation thing, he aptly described the last 30 years of Republican governing and campaigning as "proud to be ignorant". Maybe Paris can run that ad where she shows that she reads a teleprompter more convincingly than McCain and had better economic advisers.

I'm asking please, leave me some area where I don't have to see your bullshit ads. It's bad enough I live in a designated swing state, where John McCain foolishly believes he has a chance. I can't watch 2 minutes of local news without hearing if the black guy is more readier to lead than the guy who doesn't know anything, or if St. John whacks off into barrels of oil for strength. Let me ogle the female athletes and laugh at the poor countries in peace.