RNC Convention: Whither Cheney?

With the DNC Convention upon us, it is time to start wondering about what delights will be in store for us from September 1-4 at the RNC Convention. More importantly what is a party that is trying to distance itself from itself going to do about the massively unpopular Bush and Cheney tag team? So far the plan is to have them speak the first day and then spend the next 3 pretending that it never happened.

As to wit, they're even shuffling Cheney out of the country.

BREAKING – White House release: “Vice President Cheney will travel abroad beginning September 2, 2008. President Bush has asked the Vice President to travel to Azerbaijan, Georgia, Ukraine and Italy for discussions with these key partners on issues of mutual interest. The Vice President will meet with President Aliyev of Azerbaijan, President Saakashvili of Georgia.”

Yes tend to things in Azerbaijan, Dick, we'll handle the party stuff back here. Couldn't they organize a summit meeting with the lavamen and hollow earth reptoids that live miles underground? Azerbaijan is a little out in the open, people might see him and remember that he's a Republican.....and so is John McCain. Connecting dots!

Perhaps it's not to late to reschedule some David Blaine-esque magic trick for him to do. They convince Cheney that they'll bury him underground for four days as a fund raising stunt for destitute oil executives. Then they bury him and never dig him up, leaving his undead wrath to a future society thousands of years hence. That ought to be good for a 10 point bump in the polls.