Saturday, August 9, 2008

28A, below the fold

Wanted to throw up a quick list of things you might have missed missed while inundated with wall-to-wall coverage of the fall of a certain former ambulance-chasing pussy hound turned 2008 Presidential Candidate.

The Olympics started. Americans were largely ignorant of this fact for approximately twelve hours because their television overlords held the footage hostage until prime time last night.

Hoping everyone was distracted by the Olympics, Russia invaded Georgia.

Hoping everyone was distracted by the Olympics and Russian/Georgian war, Somali pirates attacked the U.S. Navy.

Hoping everyone was distracted by the Olympics, the Russian/Georgian war and the Somali pirates, Bible House, Inc. continued to sell these things.

Knowing everyone was distracted by the Olympics, the Russian invasion, the pirates, and the single-serving communion wafers, some guy murdered a relative of the head coach of the US Men's Volleyball team.

Surveying these various atrocities, Bernie Mac said, "Fuck this noise," and, sadly, died.

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