Monday, August 25, 2008

Urban Ninja

Police Arrest Ninja Nerds Claiming To Target Drug Dealers
Police arrested two men dressed like ninjas and armed with Asian martial arts weapons who said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and users.

Calling themselves "Shinobi warriors," the men carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.
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In the letter, the two men accused drug dealers and users of having "committed sin of passing impurity" to others and that the "wind guides us to those of impure heart and intent."

"Their intentions may have been good, but we tell everyone that they shouldn't take the law into their own hands because it will cause more problems for everyone in the long run," Detective Capt. Robert Rowan said.

Trojaniak's father told The Associated Press his son is "not a maniac" and was only trying to help a friend.
If you get caught by the cops on your first ninja mission, you are bad ninjas. What were you doing, walking the streets dressed as ninjas or did you get out of your dad's Dodge Stratus to hand deliver the notes in full ninja garb? Also, I'm betting you had the equivalent of 5 martial arts classes and watched the Matrix, the Goddamn Batman, and American Ninja waaay too often. Secondly, I'm sure some letter about the wind and impure hearts really put the fear of God into the OG hoods slingin' rock on the street corner. The police saved you from a brutal shooting. Thank them.

Next time you wage war on the criminal underground may I suggest a Glock or Uzi instead of the nunchucks? Also, train in the Orient for about a decade and then try this out. Buy one get one at the Cobra Kai Dojo isn't going to cut it no matter how hard, fast, and without mercy they strike. Better yet, dress up as a wizard or hobbit and wage unending battle against the guy who sold your ex-girlfriend weed and then nailed her. Even better still, get over it and grow up. Or get smoke grenades. Yeah, the smoke would have hidden you better. Go with smoke the next time.

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