What you don't know...may kill you and everyone you love

Poison factory

Will your moisturizer give you cancer?

Researchers from Rutgers University in Piscataway, N.J., tested skin moisturizing creams on mice to determine whether their use is linked to cancer. To do this, they exposed hairless mice to ultraviolet radiation to mimic sun exposure, and afterward treated the mice with one of four popular moisturizers -- Dermabase, Dermavan, Eucerin or Vanicream.

They found that the mice treated with moisturizers after the exposure to ultraviolet light grew more skin tumors -- and that these tumors were larger than those on untreated mice.

See, you just thought you skin was getting smoother. It turns out that, contrary to popular belief, tumors are very smooth. You're just rubbing more tumor growth hormone into your cancer hand. But you had to look beautiful. You had to cover up the nights of whiskey fueled abuse and smoke filled barrooms that dried and aged your skin like so much beef jerky. God have mercy on your lemon and lilac smelling tumors, you vain bastard.

What’s Lurking in Your Countertop?

SHORTLY before Lynn Sugarman of Teaneck, N.J., bought her summer home in Lake George, N.Y., two years ago, a routine inspection revealed it had elevated levels of radon, a radioactive gas that can cause lung cancer. So she called a radon measurement and mitigation technician to find the source.

“He went from room to room,” said Dr. Sugarman, a pediatrician. But he stopped in his tracks in the kitchen, which had richly grained cream, brown and burgundy granite countertops. His Geiger counter indicated that the granite was emitting radiation at levels 10 times higher than those he had measured elsewhere in the house.

You tried to class up your kitchen. The linoleum didn't go with the new stainless steel Kenmore. Granite, you said, will tie the whole room together. Now you get to inhale poison lung cancer gas with your eggs and toast every morning. You should have specified granite....without the high level of radon emitting uranium. You should have known better. Why did you think Iran was importing all those granite countertops into the country? For elegant entertaining purposes? The natural symphony of colors in stone? It was to fuel their nuclear ambitions with some class. You are equal to the terrorists and you probably have lung disease. How's formica look now?