Monday, August 24, 2009

Discomfort

If you're looking for a good diversion of one's time, might These Bastard Industries and its various subsidiaries suggest spending a few minutes perusing Post Modern Barney's Uncomfortable Plot Summaries, whereupon the author makes it his goal to describe various movies and books in the most uncomfortable way possible. Some examples:
ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications
FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman
SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.
ROSEMARY’S BABY: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications
SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Incompetent manipulated by several murderers, stumbles upon suspect completely by accident. Creates situation that allows serial killer to escape
STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded
THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen
TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum
WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.

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