Friday, August 28, 2009

Happy birthday!


I hope you would all kindly join me in wishing a very happy birthday to oil today. Oil just turned 150. Oil, you've barely changed at all over the years, still as black and slick as you were when we first pulled you out of the ground.

That's right, today is the 150th anniversary of when a charming, unemployed drifter and accomplished fake colonel Colonel Edwin Drake and his associate, the hobo sounding “Uncle Billy” Smith, started the first commercial well in Titusville, PA sparking the creation of the oil industry as we know it. Here we are 150 years later and that precious dinosaur blood well has turned Titusville into a megalopolis and the world's shining jewel. As the country moved off of whale oil and onto this viscous thunder-lizard blood, we soon saw the rise of oil companies, cars, plastics, chemical industries, and areas that housed radical fundamentalist Muslims (like Titusville).

So happy birthday, oil and commercial oil industry! Sure we may have already hit Peak Oil an dthe are using you at a clip that doesn't seem sustainable, but you understand, right? Now if you don't mind, we'd like to get on with finding out a way that we can do without you. Nothing personal, it's just this damned heat and smog and preacher murdering, bellowing oil men. Thanks for the memories.

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