Hot hot hot

Never let it be said that These Bastards isn't your gateway to the heights of international sporting competition. For your edification comes the 2009 Sauna World Championships! Now I'm not going to pretend like you all didn't already go online to check out who won, so I'll just casually mention that Timo Kaukonen won by lasting 226 seconds in a sauna heated to 230°F.

I know what you're saying, "How in the holy world of fuck did Timo Kaukonen beat Ilkka Pöyhiä and Jarmo Nylund?" Listen brother, Timo just had the will to win. I know, I had all my money on Pöyhiä as well, but Nylund? Everyone knows Nylund is all mobbed up and is a dirty sauna...er. The fix was in, he took a dive. Sorry to bust up everything you ever thought you knew about competitive sauna...ing, but we never said reading These Bastards was going to be pretty, just that it was going to rip the lid off of injustice no matter where it hid. Congrats to Timo "Hot Box" Kaukonen and the rest of the human lobsters.