Monday, August 17, 2009

Broken In Brief: Twitter creator sorry that Twitter has given Ashton Kutcher additional fame

SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter creator Jack Dorsey publicly apologized today for the popular micro-blogging site's role in helping Ashton Kutcher retain his meager position on the outskirts of the public eye. The announcement, made in short 140 character bursts on Dorsey's personal Twitter feed, made it clear that he did not envision such a diabolical use of his invention when it was created.

“i would just like to aplgze 2 those who thought that punkd was the last they’d ever hear about kutcher,” Dorsey Tweeted through his personal account. “thought we were free and clr 1ce 70’s show canceled and movies bombd. was wrong. horrrbly wrong. 3,231,393 followers. no god. repeat: no god. had high hopes 4 this thing. now dashed on rocks of despair. @AplusK: stop, just stop. yr killing me.”

In a later press release, Twitter noted that it was sorry for promoting a “follower” battle between Kutcher and CNN, that it knows what it did was wrong, but that CNN shared most of the blame for devoting actual news time to the battle, getting caught up in the feelings of relevance it hadn’t felt in years, and treating the publicity stunt as though it were a news story of actual value.

“Again, we apologize, but we are not solely to blame, as at least 3 million people are complicit in this atrocity,” said the press release. “Can’t we all just forget about Kutcher and remember the good times Twitter has had? What about the Iranian thing? Wasn’t that great when we were being used as a news gathering and communication device for a revolution? What happened with that anyway? Please, our service can be used for so much more than the rampant promotion of a guy I'm not sure anybody even likes all that much. Seriously, think about it.”

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