Cheap Blogging Crutch 08.05

G-20 cultural sites picked to host world leaders
The City of Pittsburgh has finally picked the cultural sites which the President and First Lady will use for G-20 cultural events. Among the main sites are the Phipps Conservatory and the Andy Warhol Museum, but Primanti Brothers Sandwich Shop, the Butler County Fair, and the place where Sienna Miller declared the town "Shitsburgh" have been offered up a secondary sites. The City has also offered up a "Tailgate with the Mayor" mixer for the world's dignitaries, to be held in the east parking lot in front of Heinz Field before the Steelers/Bengals game. After the kielbasa is served the world leaders are invited to watch the game on a portable TV the mayor will have set up near the grill.

Bon Iver, Thom Yorke confirmed for 'New Moon'
Hey, remember that period of time where you thought Thom Yorke had complete musical integrity and you were starting to think well of Bon Iver? Yeah...about that. Not only are they on the soundtrack to the Twilight sequel, they're writing new songs specifically for the film. Probably about vampires fighting werewolves and teen-angsty, crypto-Mormon love. Ah well, at least Johnny Greenwood isn't scoring Transformers 3.

The Double-J Wants $90 For That Pizza, Please
Anyone doubt that Jerry Jones built the Cowboy's new stadium for anything other than the expressed purpose of putting his dick in your wallet have all but been erased. You know what $800,000 gets you in Jerry's new palace? A suite, but not tickets to the games. You still have to pay for those. Once you buy the tickets and he has you completely held hostage, he then starts charging you for $90 plain pizza, $66 domestic 12 packs, and $22 Red Bulls. I have to applaud the balls here. I guess these people deserve it. Not only are they Cowboys fans, but they have enough money to buy suites at Cowboys games. They deserve to have their money taken from them.

Blackwater Founder Implicated in Murder
What? The man who ran an extra-legal force of lawless mercenaries who ran rampant, shooting first and asking questions later in Iraq, is implicated in a murder? And it isn't of a random brown foreign civilian in a warzone? Color me surprised. It turns out that owner Eric Prince might have facilitated the murder of several people who were co-operating with investigations into the company. Allegedly! Allegedly! Oh God, please don't kill me Mr. Prince. Forget it, this never happened. He isn't being investigated, he's been given an award for meritorious service. What's with all this murder talk? Ridiculous.

Glenn Beck Fan, Highly Armed, Busted For Casing National Guard Base
What are the odds? A crazed Glenn Beck fan, spurred on by his insane rantings and absolute disregard for the truth, packs up all her guns and goes to case a National Guard Base, convinced it's a "FEMA Concentration Camp." Well done, Glenn. You contribute to our society in new ways every day.