Two multi-billion word Vanity Fair pieces you should read

Michael Jackson Is Gone, but the Sad Facts Remain

Feeling just a little to good about Michael Jackson's career and the new-found ability you have to listen to Thriller without once thinking about raped kids? Well Vanity Fair and Maureen Orth are here to make sure you stop all that nonsense, putting up 5 past articles on Jackson, hos many trials, and his quest to become the most bizarre man on the planet. For instance: did you know that not only did MJ have motion detectors to alert him when people were approaching his bedroom, but alarms went off when someone was at the bedroom door? Now I'm really positive he wasn't diddling kids, that sounds so normal. Stuff like that is the tip of the iceberg. It's worth going over just to remember "Oh yeah, that's how messed up he was. I forgot."

It Came from Wasilla

Along those same lines comes Todd S. Purdum who wants you all to remember all the things you loathed about Sarah Palin back in November and give you a few more things to get all jittery about. Like the fact that she was referred to by staffers as the "Little Shop of Horrors", she writes moralizing and judgmental e-mails to friends in the voice of God, had McCain people coming up with varying excuses as to why she was so crazy, her propensity for stealing anything that wasn't nailed down, her compulsive lying, and the possibility that she may have irreparably harmed McCain staffers mental well-being in only two months. Really, really fun, horrifying stuff. Did I mention that after all this she's still a huge possibility for the GOP nomination in 2012? There is almost nothing you can do to discredit yourself in that party.

If all that was too much for you to bear and re-live, Vanity Fair also has a bunch of Twilight pictures up. You kids all like the Twilight, don't you?