...but the hipsters get to stay?

It seems the city's Homeless Furnaces, first erected by Mayor Giuliani all those years ago, will soon be wanting for fuel. The Times reports that New York routinely purchases one-way plane tickets for homeless residents who have families in other cities willing to take them in.

They are flown to Paris ($6,332), Orlando ($858.40), Johannesburg ($2,550.70), or most frequently, San Juan ($484.20).

They are not executives on business trips or couples on honeymoons. Rather, all are families who have ended up homeless, and all the plane tickets are courtesy of the city of New York (one-way).

Not the worst idea, I suppose. A homeless autumn in New York would be lovely, but the other seasons will inevitably leave one drenched, frozen or covered in crotch sweat. In April, you've got a shot at all three.

I only question why we're stopping with the homeless. The list of infant-brained aesthetes and materialistic thought criminals whose undignified exodus could and should be funded by my tax dollars only gets longer by the fucking day. A brief sample:

-anyone who, when it's raining, walks under storefront awnings with an umbrella
-subway riders with a BMI above 35
-everyone associated in any way with Forest City Ratner
-all of the prostitutes who have turned me down
-eager employees of the advertising, marketing and brand management industries
-participants in social dodgeball leagues
-half of all lawyers
-2/3 of all real estate agents
-Bill O'Reilly

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

[Ed. Note: Bloomberg would be on this list if he actually resided in New York City.]