A sense of decorum must be maintained

Ahh the perils of fomenting a brutal Islamist fundamentalist uprising that seeks to return a oppressive religuous dictatorship back to power to rule with an iron fist. It seems that when you try to do that, and try to do it against the wishes of the populace, people can kind of start to think you're a group of assholes. So what's the solution? Try to become less doctrinaire religious pricks? No, Allah forbid. What you do is get yourself a new personal code of conduct policy.

The Taliban in Afghanistan has issued a book laying down a code of conduct for its fighters.

Al Jazeera has obtained a copy of the book, which further indicates that Mullah Omar, the movement's leader, wants to centralise its operations.

The book, with 13 chapters and 67 articles, lays out what one of the most secretive organisations in the world today, can and cannot do.
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Individual Taliban commanders have so far had a fair degree of autonomy, often deciding what operations to conduct and how to run the territory that they control.

Our correspondent said the regulations seem to be an attempt by Mullah Omar to bring all of the Taliban under his control.

Some of the provisions entail not killing so many Muslims in suicide bombings, only using suicide bombings to kill important targets, rules for prisoner treatment of members of the "slave government", no more ransoming hostages, only a ranking bearded fascist may decide to kill a "military infidel", no ethnic discrimination, and try to engage in proper treatment of the local population. You know, real hearts and minds shit. Bring back that religious dictatorialism with a smile, not the old stereotype of the dour imam issuing fatwas and stoning women who expose their wrists. Taliban 2.0.

No word from Al Jazeera if "The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan Rules for Mujahideen" also includes more helpful tips for the jihadist on the go, or personal grooming tips to achieve that Taliban style they're so famous for. Things like "When fighting the Great Satan, robes are a must and don't forget your standard issue black market AK-47," "Despite the heat, the summer look still requires a beard, lest the flames of hell burn you for all eternity," or "Put a sprig of mint in your boot, so each step will bring a new smell of freshness to your quest to enslave the people of this desert abyss under the yoke of a fundamentalist dictatorship." These are all sound ideas. I think it's really going to make a difference.